March on FB

First law of mulch: no matter how much you think you need, you need more

Second law of mulch: no matter how many kids you have given birth to and cared for, you will not be able to find any of them when there are bags of mulch out

A rainbow at the start of a covid vaccine clinic this morning

Josh: The limited edition Oreos are weird flavors

Ben: Yeah, the Lady Gaga one doesn't taste anything like Lady Gaga

Me: Isaac please go do your handwriting worksheet.

Isaac stops and glares at the ground clenching every muscle in his body.

Me: Are you turning into the Hulk??

Isaac: ::growls:: NOOOOOO!

A post I read recently reminded me of the Circles of Hell in Dante's Inferno and I was thinking about what I would put in an updated version. Currently, I've come up with Potty Training and Calling Comcast. What would you include?


And the Papa Bear said, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed!"

Your Spring wardrobe isn't complete until you have an outfit that screams "I'm headed to Lowe's and ANYTHING can happen!"

Today is an absolutely wonderful day to shovel mulch.

Ask me how I know 

It turns out that Isaac is angry that he didn't get to eat one of the cupcakes we had at his gender reveal party


When we teach boys/young men/men that they can't control themselves, we are telling them they don't have to become adults.

Recent convo with my dad:

Me: My teens don't seem to feel like they should have to spend their weekends working on the yard.

Dad: Yeah....

Me: Wait, are you having flashbacks to my teen years?

Dad: No.....I didn't say that.......

Wool socks, rainboots, waterproof jacket, umbrella, mask, camera - the complete ensemble for the spring soccer parent


CU Boulder grad here - today's really not the day to defend your damn gun rights to me


I'm thinking about having a 90's themed Spring Break for the boys: only one person can be online at a time, they have to use a phone or a bike to talk to friends, only one episode of a TV show a week. What do you think, best Spring Break ever?


There comes a day in the life of every child when they must accept the cold, harsh reality that their mom does not want the child to follow her into the bathroom. That day has yet to come for Isaac.

It's good to know that no matter how difficult life gets, Costco's got my back

I don't always helicopter parent, but when I do I imagine my kids are probably screaming this in their heads

We just broke the news to the kids that they will only get 2 hours of wifi a day during spring break. I think our popularity rating is at an all time low.

We are now experiencing the phenomenon of the "extra sock" - as in a few loads of laundry this week have each had A sock that no one will claim. Poor orphan socks. Maybe our missing socks are showing up in someone else's dryer and theirs are in ours?

Birthday Ben

 This boy did not want a party for his big TWELVE but he did have BIG ideas about how he wanted to do deserts on his big day. As a compromise, we got a bunch of doughnuts and stopped off at a couple of his friends' houses to share/celebrate and then had chocolate cupcakes for dessert for his birthday dinner.

So this was the year of sugar. And to complete the experience he had three doughnuts for breakfast before his game on Saturday and then proceeded to score TWO goals at his soccer game. Now you can attribute that soccer success to either the sugar or the fact that Coach Jim put him on offense for the first time in many, many seasons - you pick. I know what he thinks....

Spring Celebration

 

Spring Soccer, PNW Edition

 And soccer is back! Back with masks, on and off the field. Soccer in the time of covid-19.

This morning's game was played on what can best be described as a shallow lake. Now, I know that this looks like a grass-covered field, but I can tell you from experience the whole thing was covered in about an inch or so of water with a smattering of deeper areas placed randomly around the field.

I wore my rain boots and I have to tell you that anyone who wore regular shoes to the game...chose...poorly.

For all that it was a pretty good game. The Wildcats did lose (6-5 we think) but the close games are more exciting than the ones when the team blows their opponents out of the water (which I guess would have been literal in this case).  Looks like it's going to be another great season.

Braces...Here We Go Again

You may be able to tell by the look in his eyes, that he has an inkling of what is about to happen to him. In other words, his older brother did him the honor of telling him outrageously crazy (and mostly not true) stories about the horrors of braces.  Luckily for him, he had more options for soft foods so we had chocolate pudding and yogurts waiting for his sore mouth.  

The part always makes me laugh. So I take a picture. Cuz, you know, it will last longer.

First round: the top. As soon as they let him up, he started laughing. He kept telling me how weird they felt. A few hours later though he didn't find them quite so amusing. 

So, here we go again.

February on Facebook

Personally, I think the best way to experience snow is from a distance. Looking at other people's pictures of it on Facebook is just the right distance. 

If this day had any sense at all, it would bow out and let us go straight to the end of the school week. Read the room, Thursday!!

Our Fridays in a nutshell

It is possible that during our first few years of marriage someone may have taped the final scores of a Scrabble game to the wall by our bed.

On asynchronous school days Isaac likes to try and make up for any and all lost snuggling time he missed when he goes into the classroom.

What do people panic buy in your area for bad weather/snow? In VA it was milk, eggs, and bread - which always made me wonder if everyone ate French toast there when it snows. Here I've heard bananas and toilet paper - not sure what to think of that.

Mean Mom, a play in one act

Setting: a kitchen in a middle class house. A woman is washing dishes while a small boy, her son, is sorting through the items in his school Valentine's box.

Boy: Mom! Look! Two of my friends gave me pink slime!!!!!

Woman: Sorry, buddy. You know the rules - this house is a slime-free zone. They'll have to go.

Cue hysterical crying.

End scene

This kid is clearly not related to me

Where's the Map My Snow Shoveling app when you need one?

I got a notice on my phone yesterday that one of my Amazon subscription items was going to be delivered by the end of the day. With a foot of snow on the ground, I kind of wished there was a button on the app that I could push to let the UPS driver know "Don't worry about delivering it today - your life is worth a great deal more than a bag of dental flossers".

I would like to personally thank NASA for scheduling the landing of the Perseverance on Mars during Ben's Robotics class today and his teacher for thinking it's cool enough to show during class.

I'm pleased to announce that at some future date, yet to be determined, 3 of our kids will LEAVE THE HOUSE on Mondays and Wednesdays to go to school. Now if I can just figure out how to get the other two people out of the house...

I have a BA in Anthropology, but I am currently working on my PhD in Nagging with an emphasis on Get Your Butt Out of Bed.

Ben: My password is the last 5 digits of pi

I was considering doing some spring clearing/purging of my clothes today and realized that if I got rid of everything I haven't worn in the past 6 months I would only have yoga pants, t-shirts, and fleece jackets left. Which might be the ideal wardrobe...

Snow Dayz

Someone is absolutely thrilled with our unusual weather. Someone has been up at 7 every morning begging to go out in the snow. 

This person also has a wacky sense of style.

This someone is not me.

Thursday, Feb 11th - it begins. School district calls a half day and schedules all classes to end early.

Friday, Feb 12th - the first 5 or so inches. Such ridiculousness. 

5 inches deserves some shoveling. Several of the people in the house were not super excited about that, but our resident snow sprite just wanted the snow dumped on him.

Ben was awarded the honor of cleaning off the cars after a not terribly efficient run with the snow shovel. Apparently my pep talk of "it's just a lever" didn't help.

The car was so very happy to see us.

The honor for grumpiest snow removal went to Josh who opted to shovel in his crocs with socks in his pajamas.

Saturday, Feb 13th - because some weather systems just don't know when to stop. Another 6 inches.

Our bouncy ball of snow was thrilled to find even more on the ground. With the snow up to his knees, he was pretty bummed that he had to wait for some of his snow gear to finish in the dryer before he could go out.

Day 2 of snow meant day 2 of shoveling. 

Back in the front of the house we took a measure before clearing the sidewalk and driveway...again.  Josh wore his shoveling crocs...again.

After all that we came together to forget our grumpiness with the snow to play a cut throat game of Monopoly.  The amount of negotiating seemed a little extreme and at times unorthodox to me, though I normally avoid this game at all costs. In the end, Josh created a gauntlet by building cities on 1/4 of the board and we were all deprived of the opportunity of being decimated by him as eventually it was time for him to make dinner.

Sunday, Feb 14th - Happy Valentine's Day! Only 1/4 inch or so in the morning. I did some walking in the snow and didn't have a lot of company.

Our Valentine's Day festivities were shorter than normal, but we did play a few games. This year's addition was a match the language to the phrase "I love you" - Ben chose wisely and picked Jason for his teammate.  He *may* have some foreign language experience under his belt.

And then we gorged ourselves on sugar before calling it a night. It's raining now and I have high hopes that soon we can put all this snowy mess behind us.