December on Facebook

I have been trying to cut down on our use of single-use products, but I recently saw an ad for reusable swabs and I found my limit.

I know why people have them, but I just have to say that doorbell cameras (like Ring) are taking all the fun out of leaving spontaneous and anonymous surprise gifts (nice ones not flaming bags of dog poo) on people's porches. 

You might think that if nothing else the fact that I have power over the wifi would encourage my kids to control their teen 'tude with me, but it does not.

As we've had so very much *quality* time together over the last 9 months, I've had the opportunity to carefully observe my children and thoughtfully consider their talents and strengths. I now believe that my kids could have successful careers as any of the following: interrogators, inquisitors, questioners of hostile witnesses, and hired goons.

This bears repeating every year: just because you CAN make a Christmas album doesn't mean you SHOULD

Kindergarten conversations

Girl: if you could have anything in the world what would you want?

Isaac: all the gold in the world

Girl: I would have a million dogs and cats so they could make a WAR

When the kids were younger, I used to read parenting books.

Now that they are older I just read parenting memes.

Only he knows for sure, but I'm pretty sure that the Grinch is Isaac's Patronus

IKEA review:
Furniture 
Gingerbread house 

He's both our sunshine and our category 5 hurricane and now he's SIX! Happy birthday, squishy!

In case you're wondering where I'm at emotionally, yesterday Isaac turned off a light and Michael threw away an empty chip bag WITHOUT BEING ASKED and I almost cried.

We're going to make it to winter break, but maybe only just barely.

Kindergarten math
Teacher: If Isaac has 5 kittens and Audrina takes 2, what do we have?
Me (in my head): A VERY mad Isaac

As a mother sometimes I wonder, do my kids notice all the things I do for them?

Then a couple days ago one of the boys told me that he doesn't ever want to have kids because he doesn't like doing things for other people.

So.....I *guess* that answers my question??

Anyone else come to the realization that you don't know how many cookies a particular recipe makes because you've never made it without "taste testing" a decent amount of dough? Just me?

Actual words out of my mouth today: WHAT PART OF DON'T TOUCH THEM MEANS SHAKE IT HARDER????

For breakfast I ate 6 ginger spice cookies and 2 hard-boiled eggs. Then I did 6 miles on my elliptical.

Working on finding balance as we close out 2020.

How did 2020 end for you?

At our house:

--The older boys played 4+ hours of Mario Party 10. It's close to midnight they are simultaneously talking trash and getting their feelings hurt because they are all exhausted

--Isaac spent the last hour trying the snuggle into a spot on my arm that I can only assume is located somewhere between the bone and muscle

--Jason and I spent a couple of hours sending each other gifs about how bored we are

Happy Christmas

In an utterly shocking turn of events, Josh (the TEENAGER) was the first one into our room on Christmas morning. I had been banking on Michael and Jason on Isaac, so we were wrong. Also surprising, no one came into our room until after EIGHT a.m.  We think that the key was letting the older boys stay up late watching X-Men.

But awake they did and so I snuck downstairs to make sure all was ready and take a picture before the wrapping paper carnage began.

But I had to be quick because the natives were getting restless...and making a mess of our bed.

Restless but I still made them sit while I took 1 or 2 or 12 pictures of them in their matching pajamas.

Then the great unwrapping began. 

After the great unwrapping there came the great breakfast that no one really ate because they were full from the candy in their stockings.

Though Michael did give it a try as part of his Buddy The Elf Diet.

Later in the morning, we visited Nana and Uncle Doug for some more gifts.

After assembling robots, constructing legos, listening to Michael Buble (who has been christened Michael Bubbles in our house), and watching TV we all settled in for a Christmas dinner with something for everyone. So less fancy and more hodgepodge, but everyone had the opportunity to fill their regular bellies and their dessert bellies.

With phone calls to such exotic locations as California, Virginia, and Germany it was a lovely day of gifts and family. 

Christmas Letter

Are we all ready for this year to be over yet??  This is the year that we swore an oath of solitude until the pestilence is purged from the lands.  We stockpiled toilet paper and hand sanitizer, wore masks, discovered how many people can stream on our wifi before zoom freezes, binge watched the Mandelorian, and spent more time together as a family than our teenagers can handle. This was 2020.

Other fun highlights of the year:

*March 13th - a friday, it snowed, schools closed for covid-19  - we are now superstitious

*Michael tried sleep shaving…unsuccessfully

*Nana painted the boys’ bedrooms and they look great

*Isaac figured out there’s no tooth fairy and now just demands $$ from his parents when he loses a tooth

*Josh started college - at home, which is not quite the liberating experience he was hoping for

*Irene conquered Mt. Ellinor this summer - Josh and Ben claimed it wasn’t that hard - they lie

*5 out of the 6 of us are now on allergy meds...Ben is just in denial

*Jason is looking for a back transplant - please let us know if you think you’d be a good donor

*Josh has been working towards getting his license - his brothers on their “we’re going to die” faces

We hope this card finds you happy and surrounded by those you love. And we hope 2021 brings everyone some peace and fewer toilet paper shortages.

Love, The Millers

Happy Christmas Eve

What crazy shenanigans were going down at our house this Christmas Eve? Well, let me tell you.

We had our traditional appetizers-for-dinner meal (mozzarella sticks, chicken strips, fries, coconut shrimp etc). Cookies for dessert because they (the cookies) are threatening to overrun the kitchen.

And then...games.

I pared back this year since it ended up being just us and the boys tend to participate less willingly if no one else is here. 

We made reindeer. Since Jason has back issues and Isaac can't blow up balloons they were our reindeer. To make a reindeer you must first put nylons on someone's head.

Not at all creepy Jason.

Then you must create their antlers by stuffing balloons into the nylons. I neglected to mention to any of them that if you have antlers in December then you are a female reindeer.

The finished products:

Then there was a reindeer battle and Isaac was triumphant.

We also played pictionary "Christmas Carols" edition.  There were some funny pictures and funny guesses, though none as good as Rachel yelling "LOSER" when Mom was trying to draw Home Alone.

The funniest moment by far of the evening was during the Gratitude Game. For this game, everyone gets a gift bag and then finds some random item in the house to put in it. We exchange bags and then practice opening the bag and saying thank you and one nice thing...even if the thing in the bag is something you don't want/like. We are trying to teach the boys not to lie ("Oh, I love this SOO much it's my MOST FAVORITE thing in the world!" for a pair of dirty socks) but to find ways to be gracious and grateful.

That being said, in round one Isaac pulled a dry erase marker out of his bag, looked up at the ceiling and said "Are you kidding me??!"  Then proceeded to jump off the couch and stomp up the stairs......while the rest of us were doubled over in laughter. 

So that was not a win.

We did manage to have him come back so we could recap the purpose of the game and give it another go.

Three games were enough so the boys opened their Christmas Eve presents (somehow they even knew what they were!) and then went upstairs to watch Elf.

Then off to bed to wait for Christmas Day!

And He's SIX

When your day starts with butterscotch and chocolate chips, you just know that is it going to be the best day EVER!

 And then when you get chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting AND candy legos...well, that just seals the deal on the BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE.

We do cupcakes so it doesn't end up being a problem, but Jason's guess is that covid19 is going to kill the tradition of blowing candles out on birthday cakes. Looking back on it, even before the pandemic, having someone blow (and let's be honest, sometimes spit a little) on your food probably wasn't ever a great idea.

Just a small family party for Isaac, but the gifts did not disappoint.

Ryan's World sheets (thank you Amazon print catalog that let us know these existed)

Warm and cozy hoodie (this kid has some sort of sensory thing and is seriously into rubbing his face all over this kind of clothing....usually when I am wearing it)

Minecraft Legos - for. the. win. 

And, another nod to the Amazon catalog, the very Avengers Lego set he wanted

Let the building begin!!

How is School Going?

Well, Isaac likes to give the kids in his class zoom breakout rooms a tour of the cool things in our house. Right now it's mostly our tree.

And this is how Michael feels about all of his classes...but mostly this is how he feels about algebra.

#IKEAFail

You have to get them early (think September/October) or they're gone, but IKEA sells gingerbread house kits. They come with their (in)famously nonverbal directions.

We've completed our fair share of IKEA projects so I wasn't worried. Plus, it's a gingerbread house...how difficult could this be?

For starters, the recipe for frosting may work well using the metric version, but the American version creates a kind of sludge that resists, well, change. 

Kind of like me, no? 

We did manage to use it to assemble the house, but Ben and I now have much stronger hands.

This is Ben's "Christmas Cheer" face.

It would be extremely charitable to describe the pieces of this kit as "flat" and the chimney did not appear to be designed for the angle of the roof.

We got it all together and luckily Isaac was around to help remind Ben and I that, architectural issues notwithstanding, you can still find joy in a wonky gingerbread house.

Gingerbread crew: Ben is construction, Isaac exterior design

Long after the rest of us lost interest, Isaac plugged on.

Of course, his motivation wasn't strictly altruistic, there was a fair amount of sampling of the sprinkles.

Lesson learned: IKEA has some great stuff, but when it comes to gingerbread houses, Costco wins. 

Performing in the Time of Covid

Saturday was the fundraiser for the middle school band. In the past, it has been a pancake breakfast at Applebee's with the students acting as servers (and possibly as cooks but I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answers to). They cover the bar in items for the silent auction and Santa wanders around so you can take a selfie with him.

In the past.

This year there was a zoom meeting people could join and watch students take turns performing as well as bid on an online silent auction. Since they had to keep everyone on mute, only the meeting hosts applause could be heard after the kids performed. I mean, you know that people are cheering the kids after they play, but it is still sad to just hear one person clapping. 

Sigh.

But Michael did a fabulous job. He played a Michael Bublé song beautifully on the piano. Then we spent the next 25 minutes listening to most of the kids playing Jingle Bells. I think the band teacher is hoping never to have to do the fundraiser this way again, but if they do I might recommend they do a little bit more coordinating of the songs!

Pretzels, Now With Chocolate

Fridays are often the days when the older boys go spend time with Nana (the middle schoolers only have once class in the morning that day), while Isaac toils away in his FIVE zoom meetings. But on this particular Friday, their mom had no motivation for threatening encouraging a recalcitrant 5yo to attend his classes. She was much more motivated to dip pretzels in chocolate and then sprinkle them with crushed peppermint.