Talking at Cars

I know this may be surprising, but I have learned over time that sitting in my car yelling at the other drivers on the road is a less effective form of communication.

Okay, it's not just less effective...it isn't effective at all.

I come by my need to yell at other drivers quite legitimately.  My Mother is quite talented.  Of course, she's had years of practice.  When my sister was little, Dad asked Mom to stop yelling at other drivers because Rachel, age 3 or so, had picked up the habit.  At the time, I didn't really understand why my Dad thought this was a problem, but I get it now.  There are somethings that don't sound all that bad coming out of the mouth of an adult, but when your toddler yells them in public it is mildly horrifying.

I do try to be careful what I say when the kids are in the car, but heaven only knows what Isaac is retaining and when he will choose to regurgitate it.

That should be fun.

In the spirit of full disclosure, if you ever hear one of our kids swear, just know that they didn't hear it from Jason...

So sometimes I wish there was a way to communicate important information to other drivers on the road.  The best I could come up with is an LED sign attached to the top of our minivan.  It would have preset messages, because distracted driving is a real thing, people, but this would be just as easy as selecting a different radio station.  That means I would have to figure out in advance what types of things I would want to and usually do say to other drivers.  Here are a few ideas that I came up with (G-rated, of course.  My kids can read after all):

You're Out of Blinker Fluid

The Gas Pedal is the One on the Right...No, Your OTHER Right

I Know I Have a Nice Tail - Stop Riding It
   (Or, The Brake Pedal is the One on the Left...No, Your OTHER Left)

That Big Ball of Light in the Sky is the Sun, You Don't Have to Slow Down for It

Pedestrians Are People Too

Thanks For Cutting Me Off.  My Car is Insured, is Yours?

Just Because Your Car Has Stripes Doesn't Mean This School Zone is the Indy 500

We Are Not Playing Hide and Seek, Fog Edition - Turn ON Your Lights

You Are Not Batman

Green Means Go, Red Means For The Love Stay Where You Are