Don't Try This At Home

ETA:  Jason has informed me that the hair cutting device I used is called electric clippers, not an electric razor.   

In our house, there are Mommy-jobs and there are Daddy-jobs.  That whole division of labor thing goes way, way back, I know.  For the most part, we can both do all the jobs.  Emphasis on for the most part.  Jason is a pretty self-sufficient person and father when he needs to be. 

Apparently, I am the one who needs help.

Long, long ago when Josh was under a year old, I used to cut his hair.  The second time I did it, the back was a little sort of completely heinously botched.  Jason's comment at the time was, "Well, at least his peer group can't talk yet so they can't mock him."  And with that single sentence, hair cutting became a Daddy-job.  In reality, Jason does a much better job.  What I struggled to do with a pair of scissors, he finishes nicely with an electric razor.  There isn't much variety in the buzz cuts the boys get, but they look good and are low maintenance.  And, luckily, we only haveboys. 

A month or so ago, Jason cut Josh and Michael's hair.  He lost steam before he got to Ben.  Ben takes a lot of steam.  Ben is a two person job and we all leave exhausted and covered in hair.  So, I can understand Jason putting that off.  And off.  And off.  And off.  Ben has been looking really shaggy.  It's the hair over his ears that drives me crazy.  He is clean, well-fed and generally happy but I feel that the hair practically covering his ears makes him look, well, a bit neglected.  Which, trust me, he isn't.  Child number three is most excellent at getting attention, food and cuddles.

Yesterday, in a fit of good wife-liness that I don't expect will last, I decided to spare Jason and cut Ben's hair myself.  By myself.  I have wondered for a while what all those single mothers/military wifes do without a husband/partner around to help out.  So, I thought I would just suck it up and do it myself.  I finally figured out what those single mothers do:  Like normal, sane people, they pay someone to cut their kids' hair.

It was a hack job.  I only missed 8 spots (that I have found so far).  The hair was everywhere.  Floor, clothes, sink, walls, me.  I gave him a toy and different bathroom items (brushes, combs, scrunchies) to play with - no good.  I had a chair in the bathroom for him to sit on - no good.  He started there.  And then ran and tried to hide in every corner he could to avoid me and my electric razor of, apparently, death.  I have never been so grateful for a tiny bathroom as when I had to chase him down in there and when I had to clean it up.  The entire time he chanted a chorus of "No, no, no!" and eventually brought out the big tears.  I hate those parenting moments that require me to be ruthless.  Since 1/3 of a head of cut hair is worse than shaggy hair, I had to keep going.

Before



After

In the end, Jason was very grateful and amused.  We are going to have to do some touch-up work soon.  Next time, I will sit on the chair with Ben on my lap while Jason cuts Ben's hair - the way it's supposed to be.